I've been thinking about it since the first week of classes; I first tried voicing my true will to my parents about 11 months ago.
and now, I realized I can't keep living like that.
This is not what I want of my life.
What I truly love is art. And what I want of my life is to be an artist.
I tried desperately finding reasons to continue on Medicine, for the sake of my comfort, the sake of the people around me; but this is no good. 2 days ago I realized that, no matter how much I try to justify it, it's simply not what I truly want.
It's gonna be hard as fuck and it won't be all flowers and pretty things, I'm sure of it.
But I'm ready to do so, because that's what I chose, for myself, by myself, that's what I love and what I want for my precious, unique, my brief but miraculous existence. Isn't it a miracle that we are all alive today, like this?
This is what I am meant to do.
No matter how much I self-doubt or self-hate, I just can see right through it. It's so huge and incredible I can barely believe it's really possible. I really love art.
Thanks a lot for reading.